“The Past Holds No Reality for Me” by Luanne Castle

“Dead Leaves” (Les Feuilles Mortes) by Remedios Varo (fair use)

after “Dead Leaves” (Les Feuilles Mortes) by Remedios Varo

Today, I will enter the secret portal. Life begins now; there is no past. I hear them at the open window, cackling and threatening. For so long, I have ignored the colorless and chaotic imposter world. Please don’t suggest I do not understand reality. When I put my hand down on the piano, a table, I feel the soft slipperiness of dust, once-luscious fabrics eaten into fine rags. But this illusion is defeated by my own image, the vibrant red of my mane, my skin’s rosy hue, and my favorite blue gown. I am the real. When my lover didn’t return that wind-swept night, I knitted him a suit while I waited. Even after midnight and he had not arrived, I continued to knit one purl two. At daybreak, I hung the completed suit in the corner and fell asleep in my chair. When I woke, dead leaves scattered the floor, blown in through an open window, and a rip rent the draperies in two. I glanced toward the corner and thought I saw my lover until I realized that my creation had taken on my lover’s very appearance. I stroked the wool but felt the suit hollow where my lover’s heart had been. If he couldn’t find his way to me, I would go to him. I began to tinker with the suit, knitting an opening. Over time, I constructed an entrance to the lovers’ labyrinth. I plan to follow my instincts through the hallways and doors until my fingertips reach him and our skin sizzles in unity. Hear them plotting? They still lie to me about his whereabouts. About what happened in the storm that night. I must hurry.

Copyright © 2024 Luanne Castle. All Rights Reserved

Luanne Castle

Luanne Castle’s recent fiction can be found in Bending Genres, Roi Fainéant, The Dribble Drabble Review, Does It Have Pockets, South 85 Journal, The Ekphrastic Review, and MasticadoresUSA. She has written several award-winning poetry books. Luanne lives with five cats in Arizona along a wash that wildlife use as a thoroughfare.

Submit to MasticadoresUSA and subscribe for more great reads! 

About Us and the New Submission Guidelines