“God loves you very much. He is the one who found the way to awaken your soul.” A woman I met at my mother-in-law’s apartment on my recent trip to New York told me after hearing my Bible Taboo story in the Barnes and Noble thirty-five years ago.
Lost for words, humbled, I smiled in response.
“You must pray to him whenever you need help with the issues which are out of your control.” She continued.
“But I don’t know how to pray.”
“Just talk, and he will listen. Let him carry your burden. God is with you and will take over when your load gets too heavy for you to carry.”
The woman I talked to was Armenian and a deeply devout Christian. She had so much religious knowledge that I listened to her words in fascination and awe. I spent a few hours in her fantastic company, discovering we loved art and classical music. I learned that she had taught music in the USSR. I could have talked to her much longer because I love conversing with intelligent people. Becoming more enlightened is a bonus that appeals to me. Before the woman left, I gave this total stranger, who became an instant friend, a hug and thanked her for her wise words. God must have loved me very much when he crossed my path with this woman because I discovered that the totalitarian regime of the Communist Party allowed its citizens to worship in Armenia. Unlike the rest of the people who lived in a godless country of not enough, they were blessed.
After meeting this woman, I thought about my blessings. Did I have any? The longer I dwelled on it, the clearer my understanding became. I figured out that my blessings had no religious association because Judaism wasn’t a part of my life growing up in the Soviet Union, but despite it all, God blessed me still.
My biggest blessing is my ability to survive. I am a Goddess of Survival. In my lifetime, I had to fight for my right to exist from the moment of conception. Mama was not ready to have another baby. She wanted an abortion but couldn’t have one, even though it was legal in the Soviet Union. The doctors forbade her because she almost died from the previous one.
My parents couldn’t afford another child at the time of my conception. They struggled financially, already having two little children to feed. However, in her effort to get rid of me, Mama was determined. She sought the help of a medicine woman and drank some horrible potions to dispose of me, but wanting to survive, nine months later, I joined the family. God must have loved me very much by placing me into this loving family because my parents adored me.
Times went by, and at seven, I started school. I discovered I was different and didn’t belong on my first day. The rejection hurt, but being strongminded, I wanted to overcome it, and for the entire ten years of my school career, I fought for my inalienable right to belong among my peers.
By nature, I am not a bully. I couldn’t harm a person, so I used my brain instead. I embraced education and showed all who didn’t accept me as I was that I could survive and persevere without their approval. I refused to become a victim of ignorance. On my graduation day, I stood proud and tall upon receiving a Red diploma, one of the highest honors, by proving to my haters that being different was the fuel I needed to become the best. God must have loved me very much by making me different and placing me in a school consisting of anti-Semites.
After graduation, I had another challenge to overcome. I applied to a college of my choice, where they denied me admission based on my nationality. Upon denial, my survival instincts kicked in, and I quickly changed my plans for my future by submitting paperwork to a trade school. Graduating with honors helped, and they accepted me without an entrance exam. God must have loved me very much by leading my way to this learning place because it gave me a chance to earn a living.
Employment was another hurdle on my way to survival. I worked hard and became a leader and a political advisor for my co-workers. Being different didn’t stop me from getting respect and finding acceptance. My co-workers paid attention to me. God must have loved me very much by allowing me to explore my inner talents.
Still, my goal was education, and getting a degree was imperative. I applied to a community college. The admitting committee accepted me without any exams. The Red diploma came in handy this time. It was on the college campus where I met my husband. Destiny brought us together, and three months after Cupid ignited the romantic sparks in us, we were married. God must have loved me very much by introducing me to my spouse. Forty-seven years later, we are still together.
In 1975, our daughter was born, and I became a mother. Holding her precious body in my arms turned my world around, and for the first time in my life, I realized that I was responsible for another person’s well-being. Her future depended on my actions.
As she suckled at my breast that day in the hospital, I promised my daughter that I would provide a better life for her. She will experience a life of freedom, choices, and opportunities. She will live in a country where she can flourish into the best version of herself. God must have loved me very much by making me Mama to this precious baby girl because her birth prompted me to seek liberty.
In 1977, on the holy grounds of the American Embassy in Moscow, our little family received our entry visas to Italy and anti-Semitism, and I signed our divorce papers. It would take us three more months to obtain our permission to come to the land of the free and the home of the brave. I was blessed. God must ahve loved me very much by making me a chosen person because I escaped the country of my birth based on my Jewish identity.
Blessings. What are blessings? People express and interpret them in so many interesting ways. Some count them as sacred religious artifacts. I don’t because all the blessings that came my way had nothing to do with religion but my ability to survive under the most extreme circumstances. It is no wonder my friends call me the Goddess of Survival. I am, after all.
Copyright © 2024 Etya Vasserman Krichmar. All Rights Reserved
Etya Vasserman Krichmar was born in 1954 in Kazakhstan, one of the Republic of the former Soviet Union. In 1977, claiming religious discrimination, she came to the USA. Etya is retired and lives in Port Saint Lucie, Florida. The Orlando Sentinel and TC Palm newspapers printed her commentaries. She is a monthly and Treasured Contributor to MasticadoresUSA. In July of 2023, Spillwords nominated Oh, Mother! for a story of the month. Her work appeared in the White Rose, Unleashed Creative, MasticadoresUSA, and The Write Launch magazines. Turning Point Anthology printed her story, Unconditional Love. Not all Jews are Created Equal, a story she wrote, is part of Knocked Sideways Anthology and is scheduled for release in the United Kingdom in April 2024. Etya is an active member of the Florida Writers Association, Life Writers, Memoir Ink, Alumni Café, Pitch to Published, and Athena Sisterhood online Writing Groups.
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MasticadoresUsa // Editor: Barbara Leonhard // 
Very thought-provoking.
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Thank you, Etya! Your submissions are blessings!
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Dear Etya, I always enjoy your work and it is a blessing to read. Thank you for sharing this story of your life. How very interesting. You did have to overcome so many challenges and you saw them as opportunities. I am so happy that God has indeed loved you so much. I look foward to reading your work again. May your life continue to be blessed. Love Joni
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