At 4 am, You Call Me Into Waking by Tremaine L. Loadholt

The Dream (Le Rêve) by Pablo Picasso, 1932

At 4 am, You Call Me Into Waking
-Tremaine L. Loadholt

and it isn’t odd, this is
what you’ve done for years–
awaken me from deep sleep . . .
I allow it.
there’s something about your
raspy voice at this hour,
something about the breaths
you take that make me
be still and listen.
I love the world around
what we’ve built.
we have a common bond;
the depths in which we swim
can never drown us.
you say you want to
move in–say it’s finally time
and I find myself scrambling
for excuses to avoid
my space is mine,
invasion isn’t something
I envisioned, especially from
a lover.
we aren’t supposed to grow
past a certain point–we aren’t
supposed to linger . . .
you’ve always broken the rules.
and here I am, struggling
to pick up jagged pieces of
failed attempts at being
something more.
I tell you to think about
things rationally–wait until
the sun pops its head
through the clouds and
kisses the cracks of
your windows but you are
steadfast–sure this is
the right time–right place.
I blink my eyes and sigh
heavily into the receiver.
I don’t want anyone else’s
baggage, I have my own.
there is no need to
watch you unpack
and settle into my
home, shifting familiar marks
and changing zen.
it slips my mind to
tuck these words away
and I utter them aloud–
candor bright red and standing
at attention.
slowly, you breathe into
my ears . . .a crying spell
at 4 am, I glue myself
to my bed, fearful of
saying another word
because the tears you’re
wasting on me
could be spent saving
someone else.
but here we are, listening
to silence as we avoid
speaking–we’ve said enough.

©2021 Tremaine L. Loadholt

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21 comentarios sobre “At 4 am, You Call Me Into Waking by Tremaine L. Loadholt

  1. Reblogueó esto en A Cornered Gurly comentado:
    All thanks to Gabriela Marie Milton for publishing my poem, At 4 am, You Call Me Into Waking in MasticadoresUSA. I am honored and I appreciate her taking a liking to the poem enough to host it. Please hop on over to the site to read the poem in its entirety.

    Peace and blessings.

    Le gusta a 2 personas

  2. You can certainly feel the tension in this piece as it beautifully describes the stale, no longer truly interesting, mundane relationship that this one has become. That place where it is sometimes easier to stay and deal with the day to day crazy than to move on. You can feel the hurt yet you know it is never going to change.

    Le gusta a 2 personas


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